As many of you are aware, I lost my father on April 13, 2013. I’d been told that the first holiday season without him was going to be very hard. I started to dread the holidays. The only thing I was looking forward to was starting a new year. I could gladly say farewell to 2013.
We survived the holidays. Traditions continued that my father and my mother created many years ago. Did we miss him? Terribly. But, we carried on because that’s what he would have wanted. He worked hard to create great memories for us. He worked hard to provide for all our needs and more. He worked hard so we could carry on his legacy: A legacy of love, kindness, generosity, and full life. So our responsibility this year was to continue with his traditions and create new memories. That’s what he would have wanted, and that’s what we did. And, truth be told, we had some laughs and some fun along the way. And I’m sure that made him happy.
I was excited to start a fresh new year. I thought about resolutions, goals, and themes for my 2014. I was struggling to focus in on anything. I was mainly hoping for a healthy year for my family, friends, and self.
In the last few days, the hope for health has been slightly derailed. On Tuesday, my mother had a battery of scans to determine why her parathyroid isn’t functioning properly. We will not get the results until next Monday. The waiting truly IS the hardest part. The waiting causes your imagination to go to scary places. The waiting taxes your faith. The waiting challenges your hope for good health in 2014.
Last night, feeling slightly helpless, I sent out a call for prayers to some “prayer peeps.”My “prayer peeps” responded back with messages of support. I tried to stay present and positive. As I checked my email before heading out the door this afternoon, I got this message from one of them.
As I drove to an appointment, I thought of those words. What did they mean? They are powerful words and when strung together they pack a punch.
I started to break it down, word by word.
Breathe
Stop, take a deep breath, and be present in the moment.
When you intentionally fill your lungs, everything around you stops. A deep breath has the power to completely focus you to the here and now.
Pray
Say a quick little prayer. Seek some help with whatever issue might be facing you. It could be as simple as “Please take care of us.” Or “May the best thing happen.” Or “Thy will be done.” Short and sweet… just give it up to a higher power.
Trust
Trust that your prayers have been heard and everything will work out.
I thought about the last word I wrote: Smile. I couldn’t figure out why I wrote that word. While I drove, I purposely smiled. I raised the corners of my lips to see what the smile felt like. Why would I choose to smile? It finally dawned on me. I would smile out of gratitude. I would be grateful to relinquish the fear facing me and know that it would be ok. I thought about how I could remember this little 4-step process and I decided I needed to change the word Smile to Gratitude & Grin.
Gratitude & Grin
Be grateful that you can release your fear. This feeling will cause you to grin.
Breath, Pray, Trust, Gratitude & Grin
BPTG – I like it. It’s simple. It’s easy to remember. It’s quick. And I do believe it will help me get through any challenges I face. I may not have any fancy resolutions, goals, or themes for 2014, but I think I’ve found something more important. I’ve found a “practice.” It will be nice to have this tool at the ready for any stressful situations this new year may bring.
O.K. 2014, I’m ready for you!
Give it a try. Let me know if the “BPTG Practice” works for you.
Full Disclosure: I knew my mother would be apprehensive about me publicly sharing her health issue in this blog. Like many of us, she does not want to call attention to herself or receive any pity from people. I have to be honest… I wanted to share this with you for two reasons.
- If any of you prayerful people feel it in your heart to send up a prayer for my Mom, I would be oh so grateful. I do believe in the power of prayer.
- I like to help. I’m not sure how this new little practice is going to work for me or if any of you will take it for a test drive. Maybe a couple of you will give it a shot. If it provides a wee bit of comfort to you it will warm my cockles.
With a bit of persuasion, she has reluctantly allowed me to post this blog.
Thanks, Mom!
