A few weeks ago I stumbled upon a great series on Minnesota Public Radio (MPR) about the “friendliness” of Minnesotans. Typical Minnesotans are not super social, we don’t like to impose when people are going through things, we like to stick to ourselves, etc. You can check out the series here.
It got me thinking about how good of a Minnesotan or girlfriend I am. I’d like to think that I am warm and inviting but when the going gets tough and a close friend is going through something, do I lean into that and offer my help or do I shy away?
Recently, I have had some close friends go through some stuff. Fertility issues, marital issues, health issues, job loss, a death in the family, etc. I always offer up my ear, prayers and love but could I be doing more? As women we don’t like to ask for support, do we? Why is that? Everyone needs it from time to time. Even after having my second child this past fall, I needed support. I needed playdates for my older son, meals for my family, visits from girlfriends who have had two kids and a laundry fairy. =)
Then it occurred to me that maybe when we are in it, we aren’t sure what we need. Maybe the best way for me to be a friend is to take the conversation further. I need to remind those friends that they have my support with no judgment. I also need to ask, what do they need from me? And then list some options i.e. food, watch your kids, meet for drinks, go for a walk, cry. I think giving some ideas is helpful because in the thick of it, it may not occur to you that you need anything.
I am going to try to be a more supportive friend. Are you a great support to your girlfriends when they need it? I’d love to hear the ways you show a friend, “I’m here for you.” Share your ideas below; you never know who they could help.
